Editorial NiTs for draft-combes-ipdvb-mib-rcs-01.doc.

[Gorry Fairhurst <gorry@erg.abdn.ac.uk>]

I suggest that once you have answered any questions raised by the group, 
that you should prepare a new revision of the I-D. This email lists 
editorial comments to assist in preparation of this next version of the 
I-D.

Best wishes,

Gorry

---

General:

In some cases descriptions supplied, provide informatioon about the 
format of the objects, but about their intended use.

For instance in "systemLocation":

"The string shall have 31 characters in the following
   format: ..."

Whereas a description often also provides a description of the object 
and hints to what the object may be used for and examples of when it is 
set, as in:

This MIB Module provides information to identify the position of a 
DVB-RCS equipment. It may be used by the YYY module to ZZZ. The string 
shall have 31 characters in the following
   format: ..."

Examples of objects were this applies are:

systemLocation
systemOduRxLO
systemOduTxLO
installAntennaAlignmentState
installCwPower (does not first say what this is)
Co-Pol
Cross-Pol
installCoPolTarget
installXPolTarget
fwdStartEntry (description seems terse)
fwdStartIndex (description seems terse)

---

NiTs:

---
Abstract:
/defines a set of new MIB entities/
                  ^^^
to
/defines a set of MIB entities/
---
Page 3, Introduction:
/Program which provides/
to
/Program that provides/
         ^^^^
---
Page 3, Introduction:
/physical and MAC layers/
                       ^
to
/physical and MAC layer/
---
Page 4, Conventions:
/RFC 2119. [RFC2119]./
         ^
to
/RFC 2119 [RFC2119]./
---
Page 9, systemOduSspa
Please define SSPA in desciption (and possibly ODU)
dBio
---
Page 9, systemOduSspa
- The flexibility text seems odd, consider:
/tenth of Watt for more flexibility,/
to:
/tenths of a Watt,/
---
Page 10, systemOduRxType
- Illegal character for an RFC:
/quad,Ö)/
     ^^^
---
Page 11, systemOduTxLO
- Define BUC
---
Page 12: installCwFrequency
- English?
/frequency at which the carrier is put up/
to:
/frequency of the transmitted carrier/
----
Page 12: installCoPolReading
- Please expand "Co-Pol" and extend explanation.
---
Page 12: installCrossPolReading
- Please expand "Cross-Pol" and extend explanation.
---
Page 14:
/This object used with both ip and
       interfaces MIB-II subgroups determines uniquely the interface
       through which OAM traffic is passing through. /
to:
/This object used with both ip and
       interfaces MIB-II subgroups. It uniquely determines the interface
       through which the OAM traffic passes. /
---
Page 15:
/networkConfigFileDownloadUrl/
/networkInstallLogFileDownloadUrl/
/networkLogFileUploadUrl/
/networkInstallLogFileUploadUrl/
- Please cite a reference for the format of this information. Is there 
an RFC that could be cited, e.g. defined as a URI or URL?
---
Page 20: fwdStartFrequency
/ts value shall be/
- What is ts (transport stream centre frequency?), please expand?
---
Page 21: fwdStartPolar
/applied for the start transport stream/
- Please clarify what is meant by "start transport stream"?
---
Page 21: fwdStartPolar
/according to the claimed SatLabs profile support./
- Not sure what "claimed" means in this context.
---
Page 21: fwdStartRolloff
- Is this the *receive filter roll-off*?
/Specifies the roll-off applied on/
---
Page 22: fwdStartInnerFec
- Please expand NIT in description.
---
Page 24: fwdStatusNetId
/"Interactive network identifier of the forward
       link (from RMT)"/
- Please expand RMT in description.
---
Page 24: fwdStatusFormat
- Please expand RMT in description.
---
Page 31: pktClassDscpHigh
/DSCP/
to
/DiffServ Code Point (DSCP)/
---
Page 34: phbMappingTable
- Please define PHB in description.
---
Page 35: requestClassIndex
/A total of 16 entries is supported./
to
/A total of 16 entries are supported./
                       ^^^
---
Page 37: requestClassName, and following objects
Please change all:
/Request class/
to
/Request Class/
---
Page 38: requestClassCra
- Please expand CRA in description.
- Also for RBDC, VBDC, AVBDC, etc.
---
Page 39: pidPoolTable
- The concept of PID pools is not well explained, consider adding some 
more description to this object.
- PID should probably be expanded in the table object description.
---
Page 40: PidPoolEntry
- No descriptive text supplied.
---
Page 40: pidValue
/Define one of the PIDs to be used in a PID pool of
   pidPoolIndex./
- /Define/ to /Defines/
- Description should be longer.
---
Page 42: rcstMode
/Allows to identify in which mode the RCST is and to return it/
to
/Identifies the current mode of the RCST and allow it to return/
---
Page 48: ctrlActivateConfigFileCommand
/Some RCST implementation may/
to
/Some RCST implementations may/
                         ^
---
Page 59: rtnStatusGroup
DESCRIPTION    "A collection of objects allowing access to RTN
   link status."
- Please replace RTN with "return (RTN)".
---
Change all:
/doesn't provide/
to
/does not provide/